Control Your Kid!

NoticeAnyone who has worked a good length of time in retail can relate to this topic. This is perhaps our greatest frustration outside of thieves. A parent who allows their child to terrorize the store. We in retail toil long and hard to keep our stores neat and clean and all it takes is a single child on a rampage to ruin our day.

It starts at the front door as the five year old boy and his mother come in a grab a shopping cart. It’s about now when the “little guy” pulls the wad of chewing gum from his mouth and throws it on the carpeted floor. The Mother, noticing this, says in her sickly sweet calm voice, “Now Peter, don’t do that”. Then she continues on.

Peter then makes a mad dash to the toy section and proceeds to start ripping action figures from their packaging. Mom is now on the other side of the store contemplating the latest shade of Cover Girl nail polish. By now, Peter is bored with the Action Figures and starts spraying silly string, meanwhile Mom has moved on to mascara.

Twenty minutes pass, by which time play-balls can be seen bouncing down the aisles and several bottles of bubbles have been opened but only a few have spilled on the shelves and carpet. Mom has finally decided we don’t carry a blush dark enough for her liking and perhaps it suddenly dawned on her that the world is full of Perverts and she hasn’t seen her Tot in 30 minutes… but I doubt it.

She turns the corner just in time to witness little Pete take a wiffle ball bat and start beating the bejeezus out of the wind-chime rack. After the sound of 87 wind-chimes simultaneously falling to the floor dies out, Mom’s sickly sweet calm voice can again be heard… “Now Peter, don’t do that”. Lil Pete pays her no attention and grabs a Snicker bar from the shelf, rips it open and takes a healthy bite. The sickly sweet voice says “No Peter, put that back, you’ve already had candy today. Mommy has to pick up her medicine”. Peter throws the half eaten candy bar on the floor.

While mom is at the Pharmacy counter stocking up on her Valium and Zanax, Petey has discovered the neat little machine that dispenses coupons. He pulls one out, throws it on the floor and another magically pops out! Lil Pete thinks this is so very kewl and for the next five minutes these coupons are flying around like confetti!

As Mom’s monthly fix is now secured, she turns from the counter, wades through Pete’s pile of crumpled coupons and that sickly sweet calm voice rings out… “Come ‘on Peter, time to go!” leaving behind in their wake, utter destruction and mayhem.

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7 Responses to Control Your Kid!

  1. Xerraire says:

    Reminds me of a funny I once saw:

    All unattended children will be given a
    cappucino and a puppy.

  2. Stephanie says:

    Wow!!! Did this really happen to you?? Parents who dont take care of their kids SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    We had that happen once and when the lady wouldnt pay for the damages and lets not forget “The customer is ALWAYS right!!!” We banned and her brats from the store and refused to sell them anything no matter who came in from the family.

  3. Gayl Strebel says:

    Are you sure you don’t work in my store? I’ve made parents buy the can of Silly String that their kid spayed all over the shelves, but then I’m sure they went home and beat the h*** out of the kid! I finally put a sign on the door that says “All children under 14 must be with an adult at all times”. And now I have to patrol the toy dept. – I chase the brats back to their parents! They probably all think I’m mean! And what’s up with people who don’t know what size underwear they wear and have to rip open the package? My goal in life is to catch someone doing that and make them buy it! Pretty sad goal – don’t you think? It would rival catching the little old man throwing garbage in my dumpster and making him climb in and get it out! Now that was a great day! Those of us that try to keep our stores clean don’t have too many of those!

  4. Night Owl says:

    Oh yeah, I can definitely relate to the dumpster thing. That really pisses me off when I go to take the trash out and some &&#&@^#!! has filled it up with his yard clippings! I also hate trash pickers who dig out all the expired food and broken product we throw away. Once, I poured motor oil all over the edges of the dumpster and they got what they deserved! (laughing) Let’s just say their armpits looked like they ran a marathon and were sweating profusely!

  5. Juan Gonzalez says:


    We do not have these problems in my country. At least in my country, the peoples take care of they childrenss!



  6. Nick says:

    Is this the culture you are promoting and exporting to the world,Is this the HELP we get?? Thanks we do not need it your – WWE, your -“Football” your – Life national TV “talk” shows.Keep them for yourselves!!Is this the Freedom without responsibilities you giving the world?

  7. Night Owl says:

    Nick, I just made a simple for fun post about an occasional spoiled “Brat” of a kid that comes to where I work. Do you not have parents that spoil their kids in your Country?

    Try not to pick the “worse” media you find coming from America and then stereotype our value system. I assure you that the World Wrestling Federation does not represent or shape our views. It tends to simply serve as Entertainment for the occasional HillBilly.

    If your going to pick on talk shows… try using Oprah Winfrey, that would represent more of a mainstream American viewpoint.

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