I think the Deer are really starting to feel comfortable being around our house. Perhaps it’s because they can sense we are the only people for miles around that won’t stick a hunting rifle out the window when we catch site of them!
On a lighter note, I must blog Wendy’s latest embarrassing story. Before I tell this tale, I must preface it with some background info.
Since our driveway is so very long, we keep our trash cans at the end by the road where they are picked up every Thursday. The system we have developed it to collect a few bags, then either Wendy or Myself will throw them on top of our vehicle on our way to run an errand and drop them into the cans on our way out. Does anyone see where this is heading yet?
Well, Wendy left to the Post Office the other day and came back as red as a beet! Apparently she had forgotten all about the 3 bags of trash on top of her SUV. As she was entering the Post Office, she inwardly wondered why all the people around her were gawking. On her way out, she noticed the bags, stuffed them into the back of her vehicle, then made a hasty retreat!! Now isn’t that funny?
Wow… It’s been too long again since I’ve last posted. We had a family BBQ a few days ago. See the pictures…
From all accounts, the photos would make any normal folks think of a happy summer event. What the pictures don’t show is all the behind the scenes “Family Drama”. Gawd, I sometimes think my relatives are not content unless there is soap opera style controversy. I’ve spent countless hours on the phone the last several days between my Sister and my Mother. I think a fella by the name of Rodney King once said… “Can’t we all just get along?”
For all you folks wondering what will happen to me after I die… here ya go! At least it will be Susan’s turn to buy!
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited
about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the
wedding, and on the way they pass a CVS drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the Manager?”
The Manager answers, “Yes.”
Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”
Manager: “Of course we do.”
Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Manager: “All kinds.”
Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?”
Manager: “Definitely.”
Jacob: “How about Viagra?”
Manager: “Of course.”
Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?”
Manager: “Yes, a large variety. The works.”
Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”
Manager: “Absolutely.”
Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers?”
Manager: “All speeds and sizes.”
Jacob: “We’d like to use this store as our Bridal Registry.”
OMG… Sweet Mother Of Mary Poppins! The heat out there was just unbearable today. We’re talking about the actual temperature being close to 100 with a humidity index of 110. Walking out the door from work this afternoon felt like opening the oven and throwing your head into it! I managed to barely make it to my vehicle without collapsing from heat exhaustion only to open the car door and discover it was a bazillion degrees inside. I start the engine, crank the air-conditioner, and grab the leather-clad steering wheel and proceed to have the stitching branded into my palms!
Ten minutes later, I’m driving down the road and I can almost feel a little bit of cool air coming out of the vents. I suppose it made little difference at that point because my whole backside was sopping, sweaty, wet! Strange the amount of liquid one’s body can produce when you sit it down on a leather seat the approximate temperature of a George Foreman Grill.
I thought I was escaping this extreme heat thing when I left Arizona… wtf?
Wow… This morning, I awoke and rolled over to look at the clock. It was 4:37. As I lie there, 37 flashes lit the sky followed by 37 rumbles of thunder. I counted 37 raindrops bouncing off my windowsill. And then it occured to me that I was being wished a Happy Birthday!!!
During the course of my illustrious career in retail, I’ve had customers inquire about almost anything you can imagine. Usually this is no big deal but now and then, someone will ask me for something bizarre, Like : “Excuse me Sir, do you have 11″x14″ furnace filters?” Silently… I’m wondering why this “Rocket Scientist” is in a Drugstore looking for furnace filters, but I hold my tongue. I politely inform them that we don’t stock these sorts of items and probably their best bet would be to try a Hardware Store. Invariably, after returning to my work, I’ll hear the same customer two aisles over asking a different Employee if we carry 11″x14″ furnace filters.
Correct me if I’m wrong, by their actions, the customer has implied that I don’t have a clue and they need to ask someone else. It’s all good though because more often than not the other employee they asked will tell the customer…”I’ll check with a Manager” and end up paging me. It’s then that I get the deep satisfaction of going up and informing them that my answer hasn’t changed from the last time they asked!
I just love Retail!
OK… allow me to preface the above pix with some background info. Where I live, plots of land are in parcels of several acres or more. Many houses, such as my own, are not visible from the road. All one can see is a mailbox and a lane leading back into the woods.
So we are driving home the other day, and apparently the neighbor two houses down has decided to erect this sign at the end of his driveway. I had to stop and get wendy to roll down her window to take this pix. I told her it was too “blog-worthy” to pass up! Give ya an idea of my “Neighborhood”? Do you think Mr. Rogers would approve? hehehe
For those of you who haven’t noticed, I’ve finally put something in the “About Me” section of my blog. I’ve been adding many snippets over the last few days. Everything from trivial personality quirks to political views. Anyhoo, if you’ve never met me before, and ya wanna know how weird I am. Check it out!
