‘Twas the Night Before Halloween

Wendy sent me this little snippet which I found funny for the humor in it as well as another topic. Working in Retail as I do, I have to endure the constant muttering of customers who feel we are displaying a particular Season too early. It’s mid October and I’m setting Christmas merchandise on the shelves while a constant stream of patrons file by in disbelief. Comments like “Christmas already? It’s not even Halloween yet!” Then, when they think I’m not looking, they sneak a box of chocolate covered cherries & a bag of red and green Hershey’s Kisses into their basket. I chuckle and think to myself… “this is why we put the Christmas stuff out early, because no matter how much you want to deny it, you just can’t resist it!”

Anyhoo, the credit for this goes to Lisa Barker of JellyMom.com (I hope I got that right)

‘Twas The Night Before Halloween
Lisa Barker

‘Twas the night before Halloween and all through the place not a candy was left how could Momma save face?

The kids were all tucked in their beds one through six while Momma was meeting her chocolate fix. The Hersheys were gone, the Snickers were, too, even the eyeballs with caramel goo. Wrappers and boxes and baggies galore littered the kitchen, the table and floor.

When what to Mom’s wandering eyes should appear but the floating Great Pumpkin with a glowering sneer.
Shrieking in fright to her bed she did fly begging forgiveness for each pumpkin pie.

But the scene was a farce and not really real – the result of a sugar high and not the real deal. Still, the kids, now awake, cried out in shock when they discovered the candy bowl empty of stock.

“Hey, Mother, what gives? Where’s the candy galore?
To the store you must go and get us some more!”

But none of the shops carried such folly. Instead they were decked with red bows and green holly.

“Christmas already? But it’s still October!”

“We’re sorry ma’am, trick-or-treating is over.”

“Oh, you can’t mean that!” mom cried, and looked hurt.as she throttled the clerk by the front of his shirt. “My kids are at home and they’re counting on me! Surely you must have some spooky candy!”

“Sorry again, ma’am, it really is true. In just a few weeks it’ll be Easter anew.”

Sometimes it happens, that a mom goes berserk. It could be at home or at church or at work. The pressures of life begin to take toll and Mom will assume an insane kind of role.

It happened that night, folks say in hushed whispers, when Momma took hostages while still in her slippers.
“I want candy for goblins and I want it now! Bring me lollies and taffy and bags of brown cows!”

Even the cops couldn’t reason with Mum and they had to call Papa who came on the run. “Mother, dear Mother, please try to calm down. There’s plenty of candy all over town. Why, just as we speak the neighbors prepare to hand out some treats or a hearty good scare!”

“That’s right!” said dear Mom, “How could I have forgotten? There’ll be plenty of candy to make their teeth rotten. I just can’t explain it; can’t understand why. I’d completely forgotten the night that draws nigh.”

“Maybe you need to lay off the sweets. Let the kids get dressed up and do tricks or treats.”

Mom nodded dumbly and said with a frown, “I guess I’ve been foolish all over town. I just needed chocolate to help me keep calm, so hopefully we’ll forget this by the time it turns dawn.”

The town folks all said that they definitely did.
They couldn’t recall that mom just flipped her lid.
Well, who could blame her, who’d even dare? Look at the kids that are in her good care. Sometimes they’re sweet and a joy to behold, but sometimes don’t do what they’ve simply been told.

It’s not easy on Mom, it’s not easy on Dad, to not go berserk with the blessings they’ve had. So maybe we all should-one night in October-allow moms and dads to hand sanity over. Let them go nuts; let them go wild.
Remember it’s all for the sake of a child.

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2 Responses to ‘Twas the Night Before Halloween

  1. Stephanie says:

    LOL!!! That was a good one..And now that I am thinking about it I am one of those people too!!!! Thinking its only Halloween and buying Christmas…We just bought a train to go under the tree, The North Star Express really cool and now were ready to bring down the tree to get it set up…Its only October..LOL!!!! But seriously is it ever too early for the season?? I try to celebrate Christmas ALL year so is it ever to early?
    Have a good one everyone. God Bless.

  2. Night Owl says:

    Come to think of it… I’d like to get a train for under the tree as well. I used to have one, but it was a cheap platic thing that only lasted a couple of seasons. I’d like to get a “nice” one next, one that will last.

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