I’ve never been a huge fan of having a cat as a pet. I prefer a small dog myself. I was browsing through a slew of cute animal pix my Sister sent and this one definately caught my attention. These cats are getting milk “Straight from the Tap”.

How could you not like that?

Polly is on a “provide Mike with content” roll. She sent this to me which I found extremely powerful!

You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.

So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is … so they would know when they found one. (Good one, mate!!!!)

” An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani, or Afghan.

An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.

An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.

When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!

As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything ? the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least.

The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.

Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It?s been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.

So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.

My mother called me yesterday to inform me that Starbuck’s Coffee was supporting a homosexual agenda by printing pro-gay slogans on their coffee cups and sponsoring Gay events. She urged me to stop drinking their coffee immediately. My question is this… Isn’t it enough that I like the product? and do I have to investigate the politics of any Company I purchase from? This world is getting too darn confusing!

The question for today is why are girls attracted to “bad boys”? No doubt the question has been posed quite regularly throughout history by many a confused man. It’s certainly a fact that men are puzzled by a woman’s thought process in the first place, yet this single phenomenon seems to stick out above the rest.

I have my own “Darwinian” theory regarding this mystery for which one has to look at the animal kingdom. Typically, amongst animals, the female of the species will look to mate with the “Strongest” most “Vibrant” male she can find. This increases the chance that their offspring will be robust and hearty, a simple matter of genetics. You will find that among certain species, the males will develop bright colors, adapt unique mating calls and perform complex dances in an attempt to attract a partner. Generally, they are not very picky who they pair up with.

One could easily compare the above directly to us humans. Girls seem to fall for the “bad boys” because they perceive them to be the “strongest” and most “Vibrant” of their selection. Furthermore, one can not deny that all the guys are running around trying to buff up their physique, wear the kewlest of fashion & be a slick dancer in hopes of landing that “hottie” they’ve been pursuing.

What I find ironic about the whole mess is that things have changed so much in the last 100 years, the exact opposite is what should now be applicable, yet it isn’t.

Confused yet? Allow me to explain…

Mother Nature has women running around trying to attract the biggest, baddest boy on the block when statistically; he’s the one most likely to be a “loser” in today’s world. With very few exceptions, it’s brains and not brawn that makes a guy successful today.

A few hundred years ago, the “Bad Boy” eventually became Chief of the tribe, fought glorious battles with the enemy village down the road, and had a harem of women at his beck and call. Bring that same fella to present day U.S.A. and he’s most likely flipping patties at Al’s Burger Barn. Meanwhile, the pimple-faced Chess Club nerd goes on to become C.E.O. of a multi-Billion dollar Corporation.

So here is what I don’t understand. For thousands of years, Mother Nature had a system in place to make sure that human females procreated with the “pick of the litter”, the one most able to provide for and protect her offspring. Why hasn’t she adapted to the new world order?

While Wendy and I were eating breakfast this morning, we flipped the television on and went to the news channel. For weeks now, it has been non-stop Hurricane footage. I don’t want to sound callous or anything, but I can only take so much footage of houses blown to pieces by the wind, I got the idea a long time ago… it’s terrible. Our damn media just beats these kinds of stories to death!

Anyhoo, I started flipping through the stations and something on the Science Channel caught our eye. The program was about the importance of the moon to our planet. Most of it was very informative but then they got to the part regarding how the moon came to “Be”.

They go into this very detailed explanation of how “Alpha-1″ Rock collided with “Theta-z” Rock… rebounded off “Gamma-Delta” and wow… Instant moon! I generally don’t have a problem with theories and hypothesis as long as it’s presented as such. This sh…tuff however, was being presented as fact.

We know that Dinosaurs once existed because we have some bones we dig up on occasion and assemble like a jigsaw puzzle. Darwin had a Theory of Evolution that you may or may not agree with but at least he had some empirical evidence to support his hypothesis. Einstein had a Theory of Relativity backed up by some good data and Christopher Columbus proved his theory by circum-navigating the globe.

I wanna know how folks can talk in a matter of fact way about an event that may or may not have happened billions of years ago. Why would anyone try to even venture a guess?

Last year Wendy blogged about several wild turkeys that where hanging around our house. Hunting season began and since we live in the rural mountains, it sounds like a war going on around here. Gunshots can constantly be heard in the distance. Every time the turkeys would wonder back to our house, it seemed there were always fewer of them so we feared they were being decimated.

Well apparently they have replenished their numbers because Wendy got this video the other day while I was at work. It’s quite comical to listen to the family debate the number birds present. Timothy was quite sure of his count!

Turkey Video

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Here is a little “quip” I enjoyed which was forwarded to me by Polly.

Subject: oil
A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil
shortage here in our country.

~~~ Well, there’s a very simple answer. ~~~

Nobody bothered to check the oil.

~~~ We just didn’t know we were getting low. ~~~

The reason for that is purely geographical.

~~~ Our OIL is located in ~~~ ALASKA ~~~ California ~~~Coastal Florida~~~Coastal Louisiana~~~Kansas~~~ Oklahoma~~~Pennsylvania~~~Wyoming and Texas ~~~

~~~ Our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington DC.
Any Questions?

With Christmas fast approaching, it’s not only the retailer’s who are gearing up for the season. It seems I can’t go to my mailbox these days without extracting ten pounds of catalogs, flyers and offers for a low interest rate refinance on my mortgage.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy browsing through the LL Bean and Plow & Hearth fall editions as much as the next fella but some of this nonsense, I have no clue how they got my address. So here’s a spiteful yet creative idea to reduce that volume of unwanted mail!

Click Here

I went into 7-11 the other day and asked for five dollars
worth of gas.

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt