Since Tasha “Flamed” me for recently posting Wendy’s embarrassing story, I thought I’d share another little tid-bit with everyone. It involves our ongoing “critter” problems associated with rural living.
Several days ago, early in the morning, I’m sitting in the bathroom, errrr… reading a magazine. The whole family is still asleep and I’m deeply involved in a piece about the Angelina, Brad & Jennifer love triangle. Suddenly, I hear a scuttle and my peripheral vision indicates a small brown object moving across the floor at high speed towards me! Instinctively, my legs fly into the air (which is not an easy thing to do btw). After regaining my composure, I decide to investigate this rude intrusion only to have my suspicions confirmed. I found a small, brown, beady eyed, good for nothing, cheese-eating, mouse underneath the vanity.
Now, here was my dilemma… I could either A.) Deal with the mouse & be late for work or B.) Act like I didn’t see the sucker and get the store open on time. While weighing my options, a brilliant idea suddenly occurred to me. Since there was only one way out from underneath the vanity I grabbed a stack of magazines and placed them in front of it successfully trapping the mouse. I then grabbed a piece of paper and a marker and wrote in bold letters… There is a Mouse trapped under here!! (With an arrow pointing down). I then hung the paper on the front of the vanity and left for work feeling quite proud of myself.
Twenty minutes later, I’m driving down the highway listening to my Harry Potter CD when my Cell Phone rings. I answer, and Wendy proceeds to treat me to a long winded tirade concerning my status as a “Gentleman” by leaving her to deal with such a thing. After laughing until tears were leaking from the corner of my eyes, I apologized profusely and told her to just do the best she could.
One hour later, I’m at work and I get another phone call from an obviously proud Wendy. She informed me that she had successfully caught the mouse by placing a trash bag in front of the opening and beating on the vanity until the scared mouse ran into her trap. She then promptly took the mouse outside and released it into the woods. Wendy then called our friend Jennifer who lives down the road a bit to relate this exciting tale. Now Jennifer is a born & bred Country “Farm-Girl” and when my wife got to the part about her setting this mouse free outside, she simply scoffed as if to say… “he will be back”.
Jennifer knows her stuff because a couple of days ago, I come home from work and open the closet to store my shoes and catch a distinct whiff of a very “mousey” smell! I’ve dealt with enough mice during my retail tenure to know a “mousey” smell. That varmint had returned, now he had to answer to me!
Wendy was off to the store for some mousetraps! One M&M dipped in peanut butter and five minutes later… snap! Problem solved.
Ok, I’m going to start commenting on your site now Mr. Mike. *Laughs evily* >:)
Ok, so you NOT only didn’t take care of the stupid mouse, you left it for Mrs. Wendy?! And when I thought you couldn’t go even lower, you do that! You should be ashamed of yourself. Haha.
Sincerly,
Laura
Awwww… Laura! Welcome, Welcome!!
For those of you who don’t know Laura, allow me to introduce her as my oldest sons future wife. That’s right, her Mother and I bethrothed them many years ago. Now Laura is claiming that she “Won’t have no Momma’s Boy”, but I’m banking on the fact after a few “Players” have shown her the way of the cruel world… She’ll eventually show up at our doorstep. In any event, I’m patient. She’ll make a wonderful Daughter-In-Law… Plus she’s a “hottie” to boot!
So Laura, let me say that I am “Properly Ashamed” of what I did to Wendy but look at the position I was in. Had I stayed to deal with the mouse, all of my Employees and Customers would have been standing outside of my store with no way to get in as I was the only one with keys. People who needed their medication would not have been able to get it, someone could have been very sick! So let me ask you… what would you have done if you had been in my shoes?
oh geez Mike
You’ve gone a bit far this time, hehe.
If you thought the squirrel was a nuisance, wait till you get scent of Laura ‘scorned’
How did I scorn her? I paid her a compliment and everything! I mean, she is a little hottie, look at her! Have you ever seen anything so adorable? And that’s an old pix and all. That one you took of her recently in her new…. Easter outfit was it? She looked awesome, turning in to quite a “knockout” she is. Erick will be very pleased when the time for them to tie the knot comes!
That picture is prolly 6 years old! I’m turning 12 now..if you HAVE to show a picture, show a picture of me at my age today. And by the way, I’m sure Ericks a nice boy..blah blah, but the last time I saw him I was hmm 6? I’m not even going to THINK of marrying Erick if the last time I saw him was at age 6! I’m 11, turning on 12, DO YOU THINK I EVEN THINK OF MARRIAGE?! I mean sure..I do think of my furture husband, but I’m not eager for the day I say “I do”.. I’m almost a preteen, let me be one!
-Laura
PS. Do you think I actually trust you and my mom to bethroth me!?
Well, I certainly appreciate your sense of spirit and independance Laura. Please understand that your mom has your best interests at heart as I have the same for my son.
I understand that you are still young and need to finish growing up before you seriously contemplate such matters… So go ahead and enjoy yourself.
When you’re ready, I’ll present you with one very fine Christian young man. I’ll make sure he’s house-trained, opens doors for you, pulls out chairs & treats you like a lady. In return, your Mother and Myself expect several grandchildren to spoil!
P.S… If I can get ahold of the pix of you in your Easter Outfit… I’ll put that up beside the one of you at 6yrs old. It’s just too dern cute, I can’t bring myself to replace it!
Well I’m not the only one who needs to grow up
But I understand..But no one in this world can tell me what to do and when to do it, in this case, marrying your son..yeah I’m sure he’s nice underneath all of the mommas boy in him 
But anyway, I don’t have the easter pictures, but I do have others. Plus I don’t look like anything like I looked in easter, my hairs cut and my hairs blonde on the top instead on the tips.
-Laura
Mike
As a long time friend, and speaking only for concern, I think if someone doesn’t caution you on your posts, maybe I should.
Maybe I have seen too many movies (the ones that didn’t put me to sleep), or read too many horror stories in the news, but after these last few posts, I fear you might soon have the authorities walking up that long path to your door with accusations of cruelty to animals, and slight perversions of being a man your age calling 11 year old girls “hotties”.
Oh My… I’m getting double teamed here!
Somebody come to my defense please!!!!
Laura – Don’t you wanna qualify your comment about “No one in the world being able to tell you what to do and when to do it”? I can think of at least two people who would take issue with that statement.
Barb – OK fine, I take it all back. Your daughter is homely looking
and the mouse is still alive building a nest in my pantry with chewed up wires he borrowed from the squirrel!
P.S.S. – - –
Laura – Mr. Mike… who is btw, proud not to be all grown up, just happens to have a high quality mp3 of…
Dragosta Din Tei
(A perk of being a kid at heart)
What’s it worth to ya?
Now Mr. Mike might just be persuaded to “Share the Wealth” if Laura was to become “humble-pie”.
Humility would be a good quality for my future Daughter In Law to exhibit!
Laura! You go girl!
Would ya like to borrow my cat?
Mike that was going to be my next advice, get yourself a sweet furry precious kitten, one that doesn’t like squirrels and mice!
oh, and with the Dragostea Din Tei…like her mama didn’t get that for her in less than one minute.
I would not have a cat if you paid me to. They stink!
Oh, and thanks for getting my back on the Numa Numa song Xerraire. There are two versions out there btw… the most common one is a remake by a group by the name of Haiduchi, which sux. I have the PRIMO version by the original artists… Ozone.
So there!!!
Xerraire has the Ozone one.
Naturally.
(Snicker…Snicker) Now that the debate has fizzled out and everyone has forgotten about it… I’ll sneak on here and get the last word!
Laura’s gonna marry a “Mommas Boy” and Barb is gonna get arrested for file sharing when the FBI raids her computer and finds ten zillion illegal MP3′s on it!!
Muuuuhahahahahahahahahhaa!!